What constitutes helping 'enough' in the world today?   We live in such a rich country, and live such comfortable lives...we don't even think about what life would be like for us if we weren't so fortunate.  So many Canadian people reached out to help when New Orleans was destroyed by a hurricane and left in ruin.  Part of the reason so many people watched so closely and felt compelled to help out was because the disaster hit so close to home.  But now, there's another nation of people that need our help, more than anyone else.

     Since last year, Indonesia was hit with a hurricane, a volcano that threatened to explode, an epidemic of Avian Flu, and now, a 6.2 scale earthquake.  All of these disasters that the people couldn't prevent.  This is not a wall that wasn't strong enough to hold; this is a poor, overpopulated country that can't afford a proper health care system and adequate drinking water.  This is a country in which one of the few hospitals they have for the millions who live there was destroyed by the earthquakes. 

      For me, this hits close to home in a different way.  I was born here; I don't know what it's like to live in filthy streets, where garbage is thrown out the window.  I don't know what it's like to live in a country where, if you lock up your bike tire, they steal everything but your bike tire.  I don't know what it's like to live in a place where 10% of the population has 95% of the power...but my parents do.

      I know a lot of yours do, too.  Many of our parents are from that same type of background that they face in Indonesia right now, and if it weren't for our parents leaving their homeland, some at great risk, we might be living that same way.  I've been told stories of people who had to make choices that no person should ever have to make.  A woman who, when escaping a tyrranical country with her son and daughter, both unable to swim, didn't have enough strength to swim with them both.  Knowing that her son would be more valuable, she was forced to leave her daughter to drown.  The parents of a person close to me barely made it onto a boat leaving a coastal asian city, the father almost leaving his wife and son behind because the mob on the boat he was rowing tried to threaten him into shoving off land before they had boarded.  We joke about fake marriages and green cards, but do we ever stop to think why people are so desperate to stay in Canada that they're willing to pay $50,000, when that money would make them rich in their own country?

     I've donated to help Indonesia, and I encourage you to do the same.  I'm not telling you to do it, nor am I implying that by doing so, I ride a higher moral horse than anyone else.  I will add a link to the Red Cross website for anyone that wishes to help out, and they accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express and Online Debit through a secure payment system. 

      I hope that some of you will donate, and for that I am grateful; but I also understand that some people are not able to, or will choose not to for various legitimate reasons.  All I ask is that everyone who reads this considers seriously what their life may have been like if they weren't born here.  Seeing so many people playing basketball today, having the time and luxury to do so...the least we could do is spend one night of quality time with our parents.  They may nag, and annoy, and we may have been embarassed to invite people over when we were younger....but chances are, we don't even know the half of what they went through to get here, and to get us here.  And they probably wouldn't ever want us to know.

     For anyone interested in donating for Indonesia or any other causes, you can do so here: https://www.paypaq.com/redcross/en/

What is it in certain people that drive a 'perfectionist' attitude?  Does that attitude actually help those people get further ahead in life or their careers?

I was browsing through the business section of a bookstore today, looking for books on developing leadership and corporate skills.  What I noticed was that for every book to help people get ahead in their job, there were at least two books trying to help people figure out WHICH job their "personality", "mindset" or "aptitude" was suited for.  Is it the age we live in that drives us to become more and more indecisive, or are we as a society just now addressing that issue?

The worst part wasn't that all of those workbooks existed, or even the fact that I was tempted to buy one, just to see if the profession I am currently in and enjoying was actually "right for me"; no, the thing that alarmed me the most was much more juvenile.  The epiphany that came upon me was this:  I could not read those books, and do the little questionnaires, because I knew that in the end, something would upset me.  Even if I ended up showing that I was 100% perfect for one type of job, it would always irk me to a certain degree that I was 20% or less suited for another type of job.  It wouldn't matter if the job I was bad at was one I even found interesting, or had even considered before; or if the job I was perfect for was the one I am currently in and enjoy doing.  But the glaring proof and realisation that even though I am good at some things, I am just as terrible at others would bother me.  Denial springs eternal. 

Am I the only one who feels that way?  I would love some feedback on this particular subject.

Also, thinking of the personalities around me, I realise that it tends to be more women who face this indecisive, perfectionist attitude more then men.  Is it because of the "perfect mother" image that is always reflected in media?  Or that we are just the more unsure gender?  Or maybe it has nothing to do with gender at all, and it's just the pressure of competiton in the workplace that makes us feel that we have to be perfect in order to survive? 

Whichever way the wind blows, I do know one thing; if I was able to choose an aptitude for myself, I woud wish to be a gifted psychologist and sociologist.  Because, let's face it: everyone writing those damn "what you should be when you grow up" books are making a killing, and every minute, a new, uncertain yuppie is born.

I must say, that I'm very disappointed with the way so many people handle obstacles in their lives.  Is this evolution?  That as soon as we face a problem that was caused by our own selves, and seems now insurmountable, that we automatically just break down?  I don't believe so.  I believe that how strong a person is is measured by how they handle those situations.

What do you do when something seems hopeless?  For someone I know, they are facing something they never thought would happen.  And they have a slim chance to not fix the problem, but at least try to head for a solution.  What should they do?  What would you do?  They broke down, and instead of trying for the slim chance of hope, they threw everything away instead.  Why?  Because she feels it would be a waste of time, and effort, if she tried to fix her problem, because in her mind, it's already hopeless, even though it really isn't.  She is the type of person who thinks if you can;t do it perfect the first time, it's not worth doing.  The problem is, she doesn't have the confidence to go the full distance.

I'm not writing this to preach, or complain.  It's just that this situation has brought a few things to mind that might come in handy when anyone's brain shuts down, like her's:

1. Listen to the rational people around you.  At best, they'll help you get you back down to earth and calmed down.  At worst, you won't look like a whiny baby.

2. Even if you think a chance is slim, it's still a chance.  Don't belittle possibilities.

3. Don't whine and yell and cry if the whole debacle is your own fault to begin with.  It's not attractive, it's not mature, and it's not helpful.

And this is the most important point I have:

4. It's only a risk if you have something to lose.
    If you hesitate, it's because deep down, you know you still have something to lose.  If you feel like you've got nothing left, and the only hope is a risky situation, why not just do it anyway?  You might as well, things can't possibly turn out that muc worse.  At least you know you've exhausted all of your options....

I admit that I'm annoyed by the crying and whining currently going on by the person who inspired this little tirade.  But most of all I'm angry, because of all the time that she wasted forcing people to help her, take time out of their day, straining their relationships with their own loved ones, taking time off work to help her...and now she's not even going to try.  She not only wasted her own time, she wasted the time of people she cared about, in a selfish move.  All for something she could have predicted and prevented. 

Someone I know is taking intro to psychology in university, and I helped her study for her final, and found out a few interestig things about psychology itself.  For instance, the fact that psychology is defined as the study of the mind, but is actually the study of behaviour, which makes sense to me.  After all, to study the mind would be to study thought, and since thought is intangible, the only way to understand thoughts is by analyzing the manifestations of thought, ie. actions and behaviour. 

Apparently, people used to believe that human thoughts were created by a seperate entity, a spirit that existed outside of our bodies, and conveyed 'thought' to us.  I'm no professional, but does that sound messed up to anyone else?  If for nothing else, fot the mere fact that every person would need their own spirit to provide each unique personality.  By today's standards, that would mean billions of spirits floating around.  Where would there b room for anything else?  And if it's the sprits that would give us thought, why do they even need people?  We would be nothing but empty shells.  Spirits don't need food or water, a place to sleep, the don't need to work, don't need money...why would they bother 'sending thoughts'?

The thing I find most interesting is, even though common sense makes this theory sound ridiculous, that is what people used to believe.  The question is, why?  Why would past centuries' greatest minds believe this?  The only answer I can really think of is, to be a scapegoat.  For some reason, it's much easier to do something wrong, sinful, or outright inane if one feels it's not their own fault.  "This spirit told me to do this, so you can't blame me."  Any smart moves, however, can be creditted to me, no problem.  It's an interesting detachment defensive mechanism humans seem to have.  Imagine the guilt people would feel if they actually felt personally responsible for the world's ills, like slavery, murders, wars....Instead, we project.  project unto a single person (the President), a single race (Natives), a single country (the U.S.A).  Why is this trait so universal and prominent in humans?  what survival instinct tells us to blame someone else for problems in our lives?

I'm guilty of doing it, too.  I do sometimes think that life would be a lot better if some people weren't around.  But I know that if they weren't, I would just find someone else to blame for the same problem.  I'm not trying to preach, and say don't do it.  I'm just trying to see if by writing things like this down, if I can come up with some sort of justification or explanation to these questions that pop into my head. 

Any comments, debates or productive critisicm are welcome and appreciated, always.